Habit Linking

I began this year as most people do: stuffed and overindulged from the holidays, and full too of resolutions and determination to make this year better than last. Diet and exercise made my short list of "nonnegotiables", along with early mornings, daily writing, and sobriety. I was off to the races, setting myself up for success. With all these resolutions to guide me, I was sure to become my best-self by April, at which time I would celebrate my 30th birthday, looking back and wondering how I ever lived life any different.

Well, turns out all that shit is hard.

When you go from zero accountability for yourself during the holidays, to full-send military discipline, you tend to improve rapidly, plateau briefly, and plummet precipitously (I just did the plummeting bit!)

I've read a fair bit about forming habits. Some people say it takes 21 days; others argue 66 is the sweet spot. Whichever the case may be, I'm certain I, like many others, have made the fatal mistake of trying to form too many habits at once. What I should be practicing is habit stacking, in other words, building one habit completely and truly, to the point where I can comfortably add on the next habit without over-extending myself. Well that sounds great and all, but I don't have 66 days to wait between habits. I need results now.

So here's what I am doing: I am calling it habit linking. By linking one habit to another, I create a chain reaction that makes them easier to stick with. Let me show you how it works.

Habit one is waking up early. Because I wake up early, I am able to sit down and write in the mornings, free from interruptions while I'm still fresh. That's two habits down and it's barely 8 a.m. – I call that starting the day off with an early win. If I put the writing off until the end of the day, it becomes a chore that I avoid. I end up staying up late feeling unproductive. Worse, if I miss writing altogether, I feel like a complete and utter failure. Not good. So earlier mornings it is – habits = linked!

Another example – Christina and I try to only shop clean. No sugar, dairy, or gluten. When we only buy healthy foods, I'm forced to eat clean. And when I eat clean, I have the motivation to drag my ass to the gym, knowing that I can maximize the benefits of a clean diet with a workout. After a workout, I'm even more committed to eating clean to keep the momentum going. See the pattern? Habits linked.

Sobriety is actually the easiest habit for me right now – mostly because my body hates alcohol lately, and keeping it healthy is a top priority. Bye-bye, booze. While I could lump sobriety in with diet, for me, it's different. Staying sober is linked to all my habits. It is at the core of all my healthy decision making. Giving up booze has allowed me to stay productive, and being productive has allowed me to be happy.

Now, there are days I slip up. Sometimes I skip the gym, miss my writing session, or eat one (or 6) Tim Tams. But on those days, I try to just get myself to maintain ONE habit. Because that one habit is linked to another. And if I keep on linking those habits, I can quickly rebuild momentum and get back on track.

At the end of the day, progress isn't about being perfect – it's about being persistent, and linking habits together keeps me moving forward even when I trip up.